Saturday, July 9, 2011

Lost and Dead

I can't say the things I have on my mind
Because it will hurt those I love and the strength I can't find
To face the backlash and the consequences of honesty
That they all don't realise and just cannot see
That I am actually drowning with no sign of help
For try as they may I am already dead BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Saturday, July 4, 2009

I Know The Truth. You're Pathetic.

I know why you did it.
And I know it's not the reason you've given someone else.
Because that reason, just doesn't make sense.
Not to me, or someone else that I've run it by.
Someone who knows both of us very well and knows about the whole situation from the word go.
I've also talked to the other person involved.
And they've shed some light on the matter too.
Told me things that you most probably didn't want me to, nor thought I ever would, find out.
They looked at a few of the different interactions between the three of us at different times, analysed certain reactions, certain remarks, made to certain comments and has come to a conclusion that we both agree on and find quite legitimate.
It's pathetic.
You are pathetic.
And to lie to cover it up?
Even more pathetic.
Your true colours are exposed.
And it won't be long before everybody else sees it too.
You may look sweet and innocent, but people will soon see you for who and what you are.
A jealous liar who cuts people out of her life when she doesn't get what she wants.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

What a F*cking Rought !

Did you know, that in a lot of cites, states, towns and so on and so forth, in the US, people who do the SAME kind of job I do, who work the SAME kind of hours I do, get paid as little as $3p/h.
They make more in tips in one night than they get for their paycheck.
It's ridiculous.
How is a person supposed to live let alone SAVE.
*sigh* No wonder it's taking so long...
But it's not like I didn't already know this.
I'm just having a bitch.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

haphazardly surviving

can you feel me pushing
pushing you away
can you see the colour
of the blood where i lay
can you see my eyes
staring coldy ahead
can you see there's no life in me
can you see that i'm dead
can you tell that i'm broken
and completely dead deep inside
can you see all of this
now that i am refusing to hide
do you know how i'm feeling
can you say you've been there
do you know that i love you
when i don't seem to care
can you see i'm not dying
that i'm already gone
can you tell that i'm weak
even when i try to be strong
can you see that i'm trying
and that i don't want to give up
can you see that it's draining me
and that my heart's had enough
can you hear that i'm fighting
that i'm fighting to breathe
because right now you're not fighting
fighting for me
can you see i'm exhausted
that i'm a contemptible mess
that i'm different and crazy
haplessly depressed
can you see that i love you
and that i'm not letting go
can you see that i love you
and it's all that i know

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


i feel so weak
and i'm trying to hide
and it's all because you left my side

i'm holding on
by the tips of my fingers
but i'm starting to slip and the pain it still lingers

i'm ready to let go
and back out of the race
the fear grips me coldly as my demons i face

backed into a corner
darkness looming above me
i close my eyes to make it disappear, but still i see

the memories, the love
the smile on your face
the times you held me in your soft warm embrace

never again
will we have moments like that
because you've gone away and you're not comming back

Monday, May 4, 2009


and so my world came crashing down
when you left without a sound
and my heart was left broken into a million pieces

what was i to do
live the rest of my life without you
and wonder if the crying ever ceases

i've been trying oh-so-hard
to mend my heart that's drained and scarred
and my weary soul that is tormented and used-up

my head is unbalanced and uncertain
about the closing of my own final curtain
and i'm anxious, despondent and unstable

i'm trying to get past this
but it is you that i so dearly miss
that is the reason i find myself .. unable.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

This Is Love ...

[1:56:42 PM] Beth: Only the best for Beth, with everything.
[1:56:52 PM] Beth: I'm picky
[1:57:05 PM] Bonnie: well i'm glad you picked me ...
[1:57:33 PM] Beth: Oh I no doubt have the best woman in the world!
[1:57:39 PM] Beth: no doubt baby!!
[1:57:53 PM] Bonnie: mmm ... i beg to differ sometimes ...
[1:58:15 PM] Beth: Are you gonna cheat on me?
[1:58:21 PM] Bonnie: no !
[1:58:23 PM] Beth: Are you gonna hurt me?
[1:58:31 PM] Bonnie: not on purpose ...
[1:59:07 PM] Beth: Are you gonna make me cry and not chase after me if we have a fight?
[1:59:40 PM] Bonnie: no ... well i hope i don't make you cry ! and if we fight and you run away, of course i'll chase after you !
[2:00:32 PM] Beth: Are you gonna leave me alone in the rain?
[2:01:06 PM] Bonnie: never !
if anything i'll sit in the rain for hours on end with you if i have to ...
[2:01:19 PM] Beth: Will you hold me every night? And stand beside me always??
[2:01:39 PM] Bonnie: always. always always always !
[2:01:47 PM] Beth: Will you kiss me passionately till the day we die?
[2:02:07 PM] Bonnie: i couldn't kiss you any other way ...
[2:02:14 PM] Beth: See baby...that's why I have the best.
[2:02:19 PM] Beth: You have my heart
[2:02:31 PM] Beth: You are the best if you have my heart