Sunday, May 24, 2009

haphazardly surviving

can you feel me pushing
pushing you away
can you see the colour
of the blood where i lay
can you see my eyes
staring coldy ahead
can you see there's no life in me
can you see that i'm dead
can you tell that i'm broken
and completely dead deep inside
can you see all of this
now that i am refusing to hide
do you know how i'm feeling
can you say you've been there
do you know that i love you
when i don't seem to care
can you see i'm not dying
that i'm already gone
can you tell that i'm weak
even when i try to be strong
can you see that i'm trying
and that i don't want to give up
can you see that it's draining me
and that my heart's had enough
can you hear that i'm fighting
that i'm fighting to breathe
because right now you're not fighting
fighting for me
can you see i'm exhausted
that i'm a contemptible mess
that i'm different and crazy
haplessly depressed
can you see that i love you
and that i'm not letting go
can you see that i love you
and it's all that i know

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


i feel so weak
and i'm trying to hide
and it's all because you left my side

i'm holding on
by the tips of my fingers
but i'm starting to slip and the pain it still lingers

i'm ready to let go
and back out of the race
the fear grips me coldly as my demons i face

backed into a corner
darkness looming above me
i close my eyes to make it disappear, but still i see

the memories, the love
the smile on your face
the times you held me in your soft warm embrace

never again
will we have moments like that
because you've gone away and you're not comming back

Monday, May 4, 2009


and so my world came crashing down
when you left without a sound
and my heart was left broken into a million pieces

what was i to do
live the rest of my life without you
and wonder if the crying ever ceases

i've been trying oh-so-hard
to mend my heart that's drained and scarred
and my weary soul that is tormented and used-up

my head is unbalanced and uncertain
about the closing of my own final curtain
and i'm anxious, despondent and unstable

i'm trying to get past this
but it is you that i so dearly miss
that is the reason i find myself .. unable.