haphazardly surviving

can you feel me pushing

pushing you away

can you see the colour

of the blood where i lay

can you see my eyes

staring coldy ahead

can you see there's no life in me

can you see that i'm dead

can you tell that i'm broken

and completely dead deep inside

can you see all of this

now that i am refusing to hide

do you know how i'm feeling

can you say you've been there

do you know that i love you

when i don't seem to care

can you see i'm not dying

that i'm already gone

can you tell that i'm weak

even when i try to be strong

can you see that i'm trying

and that i don't want to give up

can you see that it's draining me

and that my heart's had enough

can you hear that i'm fighting

that i'm fighting to breathe

because right now you're not fighting

fighting for me

can you see i'm exhausted

that i'm a contemptible mess

that i'm different and crazy

haplessly depressed

can you see that i love you

and that i'm not letting go

can you see that i love you

and it's all that i know

untitled

i feel so weak

and i'm trying to hide

and it's all because you left my side

i'm holding on

by the tips of my fingers

but i'm starting to slip and the pain it still lingers

i'm ready to let go

and back out of the race

the fear grips me coldly as my demons i face

backed into a corner

darkness looming above me

i close my eyes to make it disappear, but still i see

the memories, the love

the smile on your face

the times you held me in your soft warm embrace

never again

will we have moments like that

because you've gone away and you're not comming back

Unable

and so my world came crashing down

when you left without a sound

and my heart was left broken into a million pieces

what was i to do

live the rest of my life without you

and wonder if the crying ever ceases

i've been trying oh-so-hard

to mend my heart that's drained and scarred

and my weary soul that is tormented and used-up

my head is unbalanced and uncertain

about the closing of my own final curtain

and i'm anxious, despondent and unstable

i'm trying to get past this

but it is you that i so dearly miss

that is the reason i find myself .. unable.